3am

It is really amazing that thoughts can keep you awake. Thoughts that have no actual power to determine the out come of my life. They are random lists of things to do and conversations to have. I mean, I can control them right? They are MY thoughts? I would love to turn them off….but they are strong and I don’t know how. I need a voice that is louder than mine to take over and put me at peace and rest. I am willing to listen…..or at least I believe I am. I’ve had this lyric playing through my head between the worries “when blood and water hit the ground, walls we couldn’t move came crashing down.” I am ready to see the walls start shaking.

(Insert Matchbox20 reference here)

Rant

So I am 99% sure that no one I actually know will read this. I just need a moment to vent and let the world hear who I am….even if no one actually reads this I know I said it. So here we go:

Its hard.

Being a dreamer is hard. You see “it”…whatever “it” is. And you try to tell others about “it” but unfortunately they can’t see “it” the way you see “it”.

Starting a church is hard. You see the need, you have the burden. Everyone else has jobs and wants and really anything else but working hard to start a church.  Vision is powerful if people want to hear it. My problem is either I can’t communicate it or people just don’t care.

I think its time to make a change. Its time to be a heretic. Better they are against me than indifferent. Better to know what side they are on than to see them on the fence, than to leave them in the gray.

Where do we go from here? What kind of heretic, polarizing figure can I become. Living in on the side and in the shadows is no longer an option. If you’re not for me…you’re against me. Pick a side and lets start this game.

I am choosing my road, I am choosing my destiny. I am choosing the path that God has laid before me. Come Hell or high water we will run. And when we can no longer run we will crawl. We will press through and press on. I am never abandoned by the one who began this good work in me. He is refining me. Refining my faith and my Character.

You can choose the easy road. The road of comfort. The road that uses family and security as an excuse. For me…I choose him and what he is calling me to do…what he is choosing me to become.

Fishing

Luke 5:1-11

Jesus is so pressed by the crowds that he needs to get into a boat and push off from shore to get some space. After teaching he turns to Simon, who is piloting the boat, and instructs him to put out into deeper water so they may fish.

Simon gives Jesus a half hearted yes. You know the kind that says “I don’t want to, but because you are the boss I will.” I am sure he is tired and really expecting nothing. I have to give him some credit though, he has been up all night working and then sat through a whole sermon.

When Simon lets down the nets he is amazed at the catch of fish and all of the sudden he realizes what is happening. He falls a Jesus’ feet and asks him to leave because of his own sinfulness. It is so similar to Isaiah’s encounter with God seated in all of his splendor and Isaiah can only say “woe is me I am ruined”. Jesus was just in the bow of a small fishing boat not on a throne, yet Peter sees Jesus for who he really is in an amazing moment of clarity.

Jesus’ response is simply “Don’t be afraid, from now on you will fish for men.” And then it happens. Peter leaves his new found fortune to live a life full of uncertainty with no promise of stability.

It really seems like all of Peter’s prayers should have been answered in this miracle of financial blessing. But then Jesus offers something different. Something better. He gives him a life and a purpose. He takes him fishing

Prodigal: Our Shared Story

Luke 15:11-32

I love the story of the Prodigal son, I think we all do really. It’s a story for the common man. The sons are so relatable. Its almost like we are one and then change to the other and then back again but the happiest medium is a balance in between.

The part I relate to the most is probably the prodigals walk home. I feel like I have been there a million times. You know you’ve messed up, you’re rehearsing your story and you’re scared to death.

If it were a scene in a movie the sky would be dark, the wind would be blowing and the son would be wrapping his arms around himself to escape the bite of the cold. Dreary, damp and depressing. Walking through it all based on the smallest glimmer of hope in his fathers forgiveness.

After a long walk then IT happens. As he is nearing the fathers house he is spotted. Is this a good thing or a bad one. Will he be welcomed or shunned. As the father approaches he doesn’t even give his son the time to give his speech. Wrapping his arms around him the father shows his pleasure over his sons return. The sun comes out, the temperature warms and light, heart warming background music plays. The son is Home.

I love those father son moments I have with God. What a welcome feeling of the fathers love!

It’s Just That Kind of Day

For all of my long time friends here is a throw back for you!

 

Click the picture for a good time!

Word for the Day

ultra-crepidarian

giving opinions or criticism beyond one’s own range of experience.

The only problem is these people feel like they are experienced enough to give opinions and criticism…..makes me want to key their car!

“Sea Grapes” a Fable

Friday night me and the fam went down to the beach. McKenna is pretty independent about what she wants to do at the beach, so it is kind of fun just to watch her interact with seagulls, play with her sand toys and run down to get her feet wet.

As you know, once you become a father everything that can be carried….you will carry. You are a 2 legged pack mule. So I carried, like  a good dad/husband, all of our stuff out to the car. Cooler, chairs, toys and whatever else you need for 19 month old at the beach. On my way back I noticed a Sea Grape tree full of Sea Grapes. I know surprising! So I grabbed a few and decided it would be fun to toss a few about 30 ft away at Leah’s feet. Now usually I have pretty good aim…today I was off by about 18 inches. Not north and south. Just east and west…well mainly west. I gave it my best lob and hit Mckenna, who was lying down on the bench getting changed, right in the beezer. I heard a little ouch come from behind the trash can, that obstructed my view and was, I am sure, the reason for my fo pau. Did I mention that I carried all the very heavy stuff to the car, by myself like a good dad?

I know I am going to have a lot of fun with my kids over our lives together, but one lesson I learned today is that they better be tough too!

Moral of the Story: Let me know if you get one so I can use it in a sermon! or better yet tell me one of your stories so I can use it.

Directions Please

So I know the bible says that the tongue is like a rudder on a ship. The small rudder turns the big boat. I totally agree.

But I was thinking today…don’t the meditations of your heart really define the direction of your life? That little space between your neck and belly button creates your future. Small sins, habits or justifications turn into lifestyles. Man we really need to keep the garden of our heart weed free.

Because after all…Life’s a Garden – Dig It!

This Day in History

Dude we found the titanic….is it possible that 1985 could have been any cooler? First Charles in Charge and now this! Don’t tell me Scott Beo was on the team that found it or I’ll just die.

Article here from wired.com

Fact of the Day

Fact of the Day: (i say that like i am going to give one everyday….i’m not)

Panama is the only country that you can see the sunrise in the Atlantic and set in the Pacific.

If you don’t like this statement don’t blame me…go sue wiki.